Friday, June 23, 2006

oh boo moment #3!

but first a word from our sponsor:

fuel was under $2.70 today! which reminds me of another story altogether. once or thrice when i went in to pay for mine and the children were with me, i'd go to the register and say, "i had a little gas on pump 4 - but i'm over it now!" my kidz won't go with me to pay for gasoline anymore...

and now to the next installment of "oh boo" moments!

my dear, sweet husband who absotively adores me CANNOT drive by a motorist in need. there could be several on the way home and he'll go miles out of his way to help them, or go get sodas or water for them while they await the tow truck or whoever. he'll even take them home or go get gas for them.

once on a back road to work in ellensburg, washington, there was a truckload of male indians (fisheaters) sitting by the side of the snowcovered road with a flat tire. he pulled over and asked if he could do anything and they, of course, said they needed there tire changed. so while they sat in their cozy warm truck, he changed their tire and went on his merry way.

here in the semi-south we say, "here awhile back" which could mean yesterday or a month ago.

well, here awhile back when he was on his way somewhere over yonder he passed a man stranded by the side of the road with his hood up and he was up under it. it was a busy highway by arkansas standards - twelve to seventeen vehicles an hour at least!

he pulled up to the guy and hollered out the window, "HEY, YOU NEED A HAND?" the guy came out from under the hood and turned around and lo and behold he was missing one of his HANDS! he said, "WHAT?" my husband, who by now was probably red as a beet said, "um, do you need any help?". to which he replied, "oh, no thanks help is on the way."

almost an oh boo moment...

31 comments:

MissingLink said...

Not when I am having my coffee Nanc!!
Look what you've done.
Monitor is easy but the keyboard always jams for weeks. LOL

nanc said...

sorry linkster, i forgot it's morning in oz...guess i should have waited for your happy hour...i'll try for better timing next go round!

perhaps you should put up a sneeze shield like the ones they have at salad bars? just a suggestion.

Gayle said...

ROTFALMAO! Your "Boo" moments are priceless!

Your husband sounds like a keeper. "Hey, you need a hand?" Too funny. :)

Always On Watch said...

Defective or missing body parts...

Back in 1993, my husband was scheduled to undergo inner-ear/brainstem surgery to remove a tumor. His primary symptom was loss of hearing and tinnitus in the left ear. Although the tumor--acoustic neuroma--was benign, it had to come out of there. As the audiologist had warned us, "He's a dead man if you don't [have the surgery]."

The night before the operation--a ten-hour procedure--my husband and I were discussing how I should plan my schedule so as to be of most help and comfort to him. In his typical, laid-back Southern California way, he said, "We'll just play it by ear."

Another related story...Before the surgery, the hospital required a consult with the head of neurosurgery; this doctor would be doing the brain-stem portion of the surgery. This fine doctor called us into his office and proceeded to go into great detail about the surgery--complete with using the model of a skull. At the end of his information-giving, the doctor said, "Now. Do you have any questions?"

My husband piped up with, "Is that a real skull?"

The doctor sighed and put the skull back onto its rightful place on the shelf. All that instruction for nothing!

MissingLink said...

Thanks Nanc,
you should put up a sneeze shield
A jolly good idea.

nanc said...

gayle - i'm glad you enjoy our oh boo moments - but it seems there are far too many for a normal, average sized family - are we "oh boo" magnets?

btw - my husband is a keeper of keepers - why he never got permanently snatched up before me is beyond me, but i sure am glad.

nanc said...

aow - when my husband cut his thumb off and came into the house to tell me with a shop rag wrapped around his hand and blood spewing all over the place, i said a few expletives and asked him, "how could you do this to me?" my oh boo moment as we crawled around the shop floor looking for his appendage. found it in a glove that was standing on end a few feet away from the table saw.

my mother and sister took him to the hospital while i got the babies ready to go - i later found out that my mother was ROFLHAO in the back seat and all she could say was, "i can't believe i've got your "effing" finger in a bag of ice!" she was obviously more traumatized than he. oh boo...

Always On Watch said...

Nanc,
Your husband lost a finger? Reminds me of a story...

We have a good friend named Bill, a strong Christian, but a bit quirky. For example, he likes to eat cicadas. "Locusts and honey," he says, "good enough for John the Baptist? Good enough for me." Well, to each to his own. I prefer Outback to insects.

Anyway...One fine afternoon, Bill was out in the woods hunting for snakes. I think he wanted a ratter for his back lot. In his searching through the underbrush, he found a filing cabinet and decided to look it over to see whether or not it might be salvageable for his home office. In the process, he somehow got his index finger trapped in the top drawer. Remember, these were the days before everybody carried a cell phone.

So, Bill had a choice: stay trapped until another woodsman found him (That oculd have taken a mighty long time) OR leave the tip of his index finger behind.

Bill claims that he doesn't mention that first joint of his index finger. His wife, however, nearly fainted when he came home with his hand all wrapped up and dripping with blood. Being a certified medical technician, he instructed his wife, quite a seamstress, to sew up the wound. He got a tetanus booster and antibiotics from Kaiser, and all was well.

Always On Watch said...

Nanc,
Your husband lost a finger? Reminds me of a story...

We have a good friend named Bill, a strong Christian, but a bit quirky. For example, he likes to eat cicadas. "Locusts and honey," he says, "good enough for John the Baptist? Good enough for me." Well, to each to his own. I prefer Outback to insects.

Anyway...One fine afternoon, Bill was out in the woods hunting for snakes. I think he wanted a ratter for his back lot. In his searching through the underbrush, he found a filing cabinet and decided to look it over to see whether or not it might be salvageable for his home office. In the process, he somehow got his index finger trapped in the top drawer. Remember, these were the days before everybody carried a cell phone.

So, Bill had a choice: stay trapped until another woodsman found him (That oculd have taken a mighty long time) OR leave the tip of his index finger behind.

Bill claims that he doesn't mention that first joint of his index finger. His wife, however, nearly fainted when he came home with his hand all wrapped up and dripping with blood. Being a certified medical technician, he instructed his wife, quite a seamstress, to sew up the wound. He got a tetanus booster and antibiotics from Kaiser, and all was well.

The Merry Widow said...

I married a man who apparently had all his "oh boo" moments before we were married! That's just not fair! Except for the time he ran off in his old pickup, in his socks which is illegal here, and bonked the back of a small car, it really was the little cars fault for not having a broken brake light, but Ben was too close and a police officer saw the whole thing and about died laughing.
I missed the good stuff!

tmw

nanc said...

ODG - aow - i cannot contain myself after that! hell, i couldn't contain myself before that! what am i talking about?

nanc said...

tmw - just his socks? nothing else?

Always On Watch said...

Erratum: Bill claims that he doesn't mention that first joint of his index finger.

Change "mention" to "miss." Blogger wouldn't let me preview the comment! Is another outage on the way?

Always On Watch said...

Nanc,
And...I didn't exaggerate one smidgen of Bill's story!

Did I ever tell you about the time Bill ate a yellow jacket? On purpose! I saw it with my own eyes.

Bill was sitting on our front porch, and a yellow jacket landed on his leg. I said, "Look out! A yellow jacket!"

Without a word, Bill smacked the yellow jacket, pulled the stinger out, and ate the damn thing. And we'd already had a nice dinner too.

Bill is always looking for a bite to eat. He claims that female cicadas sauteed in garlic butter have a particular zing--a kind of tingling on the tongue. I wouldn't know.

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

One early summer morning, when we weren't grounded from fishing with dynamite sticks before 6am, me and my older brothers decided it would be fun to take a flamethrower along, just in case we spooked a covey of quail on the way to the creek.

Of course, hunting for quail with a flamethrower in July is illegal in Alabama without a license, but we figured, hey, it's 2 o'clock in the morning, who's gonna catch us?

So we snuck the helicopter out of the garage and started heading for the creek, with dreams of concussion pressured filets of trout fragments dancing in our heads.

Of course, getting the chopper out for a spin at 2 in the morning was always risky because of the noise, but we figured Dad would think the noise was just us plinking cans in the kitchen with a Barrett Light .50, which is okay as long as we didn't take out any of the beloved cans of Campbell's Pepper Pot Soup (which is a collector's item now).

So anyway, we flew the chopper down to the creek and my older brother decides he wants to cast his line in the water while we're still airborne. It would have been fine except that the window wasn't open, so this lit stick of dynamite on a fishing line bounces back into the cabin and my brother starts freaking out and totally lets go of the joystick of the chopper and his fishing pole.

I'm in the back of the chopper trying to stomp out the fuse on the dynamite, stringing cuss words together in a most ungrammatical fashion, while my two brothers are screaming at each other about landing the chopper safely. Dad's going to be pissed if we wreck his helicopter again.

Then it happened.

From what memories I can piece together, I got the window open and tossed the dynamite and fishing pole out, but the fishing line got caught in the side rotor and then the dynamite exploded, tearing the entire tail section off the chopper and sending it flying towards Georgia.

Fortunately, we were only around 10 feet above the creek, so the landing wasn't as bad as it could have been. But, the dynamite blast spooked a nearby covey of quail, and no one was ready with the flamethrower.

Oh boo.

The Merry Widow said...

Nanc- That would have been worth a laugh alright! No he had on jeans and a sweatshirt. It was night and cool, but you could tell he was a cracker, no shoes at all possible chances! He'd walk around the backyard in socks, clothes too. I had the hardest time keeping those socks white, I went through chlorox by the gallon! Sometimes I just gave up and bought him new ones! Then I would deliver the "Have you no heart" diatabe, a month later when he needed something from the garage... Since he was so wonderful the rest of the time, I wasn't really angry, just frustrated!
I guess Warren and his "better half" celebrated their anniversary last night, hope they had a good time!
Good morning and G*D bless!

tmw

nanc said...

aow - my husband eats bugs also - he thinks it's nacho!

Warren said...

Cuz, I bet your dad was pissed off, huh!

nanc said...

tmw - my family is the same way with their socks - so i've resolved to allowing them to have them grey.

nanc said...

and YOU, beamish - to the principal's office! posthaste! i nearly woke the entawr family up while reading that one.

nanc said...

mornin - warren! happy belated anniversary to you!

i imagine somebody in the beamish family had a breakdown before it was all over and beamish was out of the house. i'd be willing to be more that one or three people did...

The Merry Widow said...

Mr. Pres-elect, It's going to be a lively time in the Oval Office with your tall tales! Diplomacy will become a whole new art form, it needs some help!
My son and I were ROTFLOHO!

tmw

Warren said...

Morning Nance,
Our anniversary is the 29th but TMW put me in panic mode for a minute!

:^)

The Merry Widow said...

Sorry, I must have mixed the date and the number! My bad! At least you have plenty of warning to do something nice! ;}

tmw

nanc said...

i always forget our anniversary. it's new year's eve.

nanc said...

oh boo!

The Merry Widow said...

Nanc-Ours was the day after New Years. Ben had been after me to set a date for the wedding, Dad (who hated Ben) said I would be disowned if I picked a date before the end of the year! So, I called Ben and said I had a date choosen! Jan. 2nd!

tmw

nanc said...

wait'll y'all read next week's installment of "oh boo" moments - bring your depends!

Brooke said...

I'll just read it in the bathroom.

nanc said...

good one, brooke!

Freedomnow said...

My Triple A membership is expired. Does your hubby have a cell # you can give me for emergencies?

P.S. I have two hands, so no worries...