Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Dogcatpig, A tasty holiday treat

Prepared and deboned dogs can usually be acquired from Chinese, Korean or Vietnamese restaurants once they realize your are not from the department of health or the local police. However, if you wish to provide your own (from say, a neighbor with a noisy dog), here are some instructions.

First procure and remove the hair from one medium sized black, (black dog is best!) dog, (25 to 30 lbs do not skin!). Remove and discard the paws and lower legs at the second joint. Remove internal organs from the dog and discard.

nanc note: black dog is best, however it gives me a little heartburn so a brindle is always nice...


tmw note:A nice Chinese mustard sauce is excellent for the dog part of the entree, use 1 tblsp. of water to every 1 tsp. of mustard powder, blend well. You DO NOT want any lumps!

Using a pair of kitchen shears or a sharp boning knife, cut the backbone from the dog.

nanc note: i much prefer garden loppers on the thicker bones.

Using the tip of the boning knife, carve down the right side of the dogs ribcage, separating flesh from bone. Be careful not to cut through the backside of the chest skin.

Snap the upper leg joint from the dog shoulder blade and cut through the cartilage.
Leave the bones in the dog legs for presentation.

Continue cutting, following the ribcage and around the "wishbone", separating the dog meat from the ribs down to the thigh joint. Be careful not to cut through or pierce the skin connecting the two chest halves.

nanc note: i get the wishbone!

tmw: I want a slice of the breast...


Grasp the leg with one hand. Find the upper thigh joint where it connects to the dog pelvis with the other hand and press forward with your thumb on the joint while pulling toward you by the bottom of the leg. The joint should break. Cut through any connecting cartilage, taking care not to cut the skin.

Carve dog meat from the top side of the thigh bone and remove bone.

Scrape meat from the upper thigh bone, taking care to leave skin intact. Pop the joint, cut through the cartilage, and remove upper thigh bone. Leave lower leg bone in for presentation.

Repeat process on the other side of the carcass, taking care around the chest to leave the skin intact and attached.

You now have a deboned dog ready for stuffing with a cat.

Finding a prepared cat is somewhat problematic. Cantonese restaurants have been known to sell an occasional kitty carcass And even though it is said that the Cantonese will eat anything with four legs but the table and anything with wings but a 747, certain unscrupulous individuals have been known to sell rabbit carcasses as cats.

nanc note; why that's devious!

tmw:Poor little bunny rabbits!


If you are unable to find a prepared kitty carcass you can prepare your own.




The kitty carcass should be placed in a boiling pot of water for about 10 minutes to facilitate skinning and as we know there is more than one way to ....

Deboning a cat is basically the same as deboning a dog But remove the cats legs completely. There is hardly any meat on a cats legs.

tmw: The proper sauce for a cat is horseradish; 1 cup sour cream and 2-4 tblsp. freshly grated horseradish. A nice fresh wasabi is also appropriate.



The proper way to prepare a guinea pig for Docatpig:

First the guinea pig should be dressed. Since dressing a guinea is a matter of personal preference I took the following photos as suggestions.




HOSERY



A NICE GOWN


THE PROPER HAT




The the guinea pig should be rolled tightly in the deboned kitty carcass which should be placed inside the deboned dog carcass then sewn tightly shut with an old shoe string.


tmw: For the pig, may I suggest a nice barbeque sauce? Use; 2 cloves of crushed garlic, 1 1/2 tsp. salt, 1 tsp. pepper, 1/4 cup finely chopped onion, 2 tsp. prepared mustard, 1 tsp. dry mustard, juice of 1 lemon, 1 1/2 cups ketchup, 1/2 cup tomato juice and 1 tsp. tarragon. Place all ingredients in a glass qt. jar and shake.



Place the Docatpig in a large roasting pan and cook at 425 degrees for six hours. Remove from oven, surround with new potatoes and green beans, recover and place in oven for two hours. Remove from oven and let set for one half hour before serving.

Serve surrounded with potatoes and green beans. ladle juice over meat and veggies.




YUM YUM!

WHAT? no green bean cassarole?

Uhhhhhh, I forgot the mushroom soup.


Happy Thanksgiving!

19 comments:

Warren said...

I just put it in the oven.

The Merry Widow said...

Late night dinner? Or really early morning?
HAPPY THANKSGIVING to you and yours!

tmw

Always On Watch said...

Lord, have mercy!

What? No cream gravy? No sweet potatoes? No spoonbread?

Well, Warren, glad I'm eating here in Virginia this year.

Elmers Brother said...

um Happy Thanksgiving I think!

The Merry Widow said...

ROTFLOL!
It came out looking like a haggis...

tmw

Jungle Mom said...

OK! I have eaten a lot of things, but...never will I eat this!

The Merry Widow said...

JM-After you have eaten monkey and macaw????
I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked!
ROTFLOL!

tmw

The Merry Widow said...

BTW, Big Bro, I snagged, "Nights In White Satin"...heheheheheheh!
Thanks!

tmw

Brooke said...

What's wrong with dog, cat or piggies? Haven't any of 'yall ever ordered from a hole-in-the-wall Chinese take out before? ;)

Z said...

oh, BROTHER. Am REAL glad I didn't see this BEFORE MY feast!!!

The Merry Widow said...

Z-No sense of adventure!
Heeheeheehee!

tmw

nanc said...

i prefer mine with hamster as i don't think i can eat an entire guinea pig!

waste not - waste not.

juniorfruit said...

Have a lot of dinner guests?

Twice?

Warren said...

juniorfruit said: "Have a lot of dinner guests?

Twice?
"

Not unless I have indigestion.

Think about it.

The Merry Widow said...

:snert:
At least you can NOT eat their relatives if you do get indigestion...

tmw

Mark said...

this makes me as sick as a dog!

berty said...

Merry Christmas, Warren. I hope Thanksgiving's leftovers are gone by now...

FJ said...

Merry Christmas to you and yours, warren!

Warren said...

Merry Christmas to you and yours my friends.

Christmas post up!