Wednesday, July 26, 2006

O.C.D. (obsessive/compulsive disorder)

I think I have it, do you? Although I’m not too fond of the disorder part…

Statistics heard are approximately 85% of the population has it. They’re wrong, as usual.

I refuse on a daily basis to go to the doctor to find out. How many others do not want confirmation of this and fight the urge to see someone about it? Why, there must be enough to drive that number up to 99% because, hey, 100% would be perfect and we all know…hahahahahahahahahahaha!!! You moron!!!

The most common form I’ve seen is the hand washing disorder. Our son had it from a very early age and after a few years of sky high water bills I politely told him, “Oedipus, you must stop this nonsense before your hands crack off from the dryness you’re creating from too much water!” He responded, “Really mama?” “Really son.” And he quit! Just like that! Okay, so I didn’t call him Oedipus - his father did.

The nurturing side of me feeling sorry for him started buying him the germex-type waterless, anti-bacterial hand cleaners as a consolation. After a couple of years of that I had to look at myself and say, “Your majesty, who is the ruler here?” So I stopped buying it and VOILA! He quit.

My immediate thoughts were, “hmmmmmmm, who is developing these o.c.d. patterns here?” That rotten kid is trying to control me! I won’t have it! So, after four showers that day I decided to get into a different swing of things.

I was going to narrow down my opening of the washer lid during the wash cycle from 16 to 10 to 4 to 2. Lo and behold, it took only a couple of years and that one incident at the Laundromat with the front load washer--------eeeeeeek-------banned from that Laundromat! Just kidding…but I did all but quit…

Experts say o.c.d. is not really a problem unless it affects those around you. Drugs are prescribed in the most severe of cases and if I liked doctors or drugs would probably be a good candidate. What is my compulsion you may ask? Sorry, not telling until you tell me yours! hahahahahahahahahahah!!! You moron!!!

The easiest way to find out what your obsessive/compulsive trait is to go to the person you love and trust the most, and is also honest to a fault and ask them point blank.

This is how you do it: Say, “Honey, I know that you know that I know you love me beyond words and unconditionally, right?” They may say lovingly while smiling and nodding a lot, “Yeah, yeah, yeah--what is it?” This is where you find out if they’re a liar as you gently point out, “There are some eentsy-beentsy little things about you that bug the crappe out of me and while I’m as near to perfect as one can be, is there any minoot thing about me that drives you over the edge?”

When you tell them they have a week or so to think it over and they answer immediately, “Why no babe, you’re as perfect as you’ll ever be!” LIAR!!!

Before I go, let me say, there is something very liberating about wearing your underwear OUTSIDE your clothing!

80 comments:

nanc said...

please disregard the last paragraph - that is for an upcoming post i will make on aadd - adult attention deficit disorder - hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

you moron!!!

goodnight friends - i'll be fifty tomorrow and plan to spend my day in seclusion with my family at olive garden restaurant and on my mountain - that's just one of the great things about being me!

if things don't work out that way - i'll see y'all in the morning. either way, it'll be good.

The Merry Widow said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NANC! Welcome to a new life! Have a great day and eat a breadstick for me, have a glass of wine for me too, you're not driving!
Good morning and G*D bless!

tmw

The Merry Widow said...

And a slice of "& Deadly Sins Cake!"

tmw

The Merry Widow said...

That's 7, not &! exuberance!

tmw

nanc said...

thanks tmw, but i do have to go back to work! i could mess things up badly if i have wine for lunch...then comes the firing...

with any hope at all, we'll take tomorrow off and have an extra day at home - the real home - i must go there and visit my heart.

eyesallaround said...

Happy Birthday Nanc, I'm not too far behind you:>)

Kelly said...

Though I said it elsewhere...Happy Birthday, Nanc!

BTW...I don't have any obssesive complusions...[MUST get rid of zit on sons forehead]...

I just have anxieties...

Brooke said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NANC!!! :D

Now I'm gonna have an OCD trying to chronicle all of my OCD!

HAHAHA!

I have two biggies: Nail biting, and cleaning. Don't get me wrong, I don't have to have a hermetically sealed house or anything, but I can't STAND for junk to be lying about, and for the floor to be crumby and unswept.

The Merry Widow said...

If I get stressed, I scratch one earlobe so many times, then I have to scratch the other earlobe in the same place the same number of times! and it better come out even!

tmw

nanc said...

thanks everybody!

i'm waiting for more to weigh in on their ocd before revealing mine...

eyes - you'll never catch up with me!

kelly - squeeze it while he sleeps and then run like hell!

brooke - you'll get over the clean house thing - my friends used to tease me that you could safely make soup in my toilets i was such a clean freak - and then came the little ones...but, it still hate fingerprints on any glass in the house!

ODL, tmw! what happens if you don't come out even?

Mad Zionist said...

Nanc, this means you can murder all your kids and get away with it!

Nanc: "I'm sorry, your honor, but they just couldn't ever be as perfect as I wanted so I had to kill them. Don't you see!!! Weep, weep, weep, boo-hoo-hoo!"

Judge/Jury: I understand. You were the real victim. Your husband put too much burden on you and society made you feel inadequate. Let me get you some Zanex, a compassionate psychiatrist, and clear you of all charges!

Mad Zionist said...

HAPPY 50th, Nanc!!!! Party! Party!! Drink til you drop tonight and tomorrow give us a great story about what you think you did!

nanc said...

i know, madze - think i'll go tag one of them now!

"uh, sorry your honor, but it was my fiftieth and one of them asked if they could get the door for me, i snapped - they had to go...the impertinence was killin' me!"

Farmer John said...

Happy Bithday!

Warren said...

I believe I fall on the opposite end of the scale. Its hard to be obsessive/compulsive about anything if you're a procastinator.

Maybe I should work on developing an obsessive compulsion... Naaa, I'll do it some other time.

Nanc, did your family put on black armbands?

Farmer John!
Hola!!

nanc said...

wow! was that a farmer john drive-by?

no black armbands yet warren, but my husband said he had a small present for me and i could have it as soon as he put it in the box! DEAR LORD - i think he got me jewels - again!

Always On Watch said...

Nanc,
Happy birthday! I was reading comments over at MZ's (Andrea Yates article) and saw that this indeed a special day. And a milestone--50. You've got a few years to go before you catch up with me. LOL.

And a Farmer John drive-by? That adds more specialness to the day.

Freedomnow said...

So thats how everyone knew it was your bday!!!!

Happy Birthday you rascal!!!!!!!!!

I'm off to MZs blog...

nanc said...

thank you, aow - i'm running as fast as i can! slow down...pant...pant...

and you, fern, one of my favorite people in the www - thank you.

The Merry Widow said...

MadZ- I'll get you later!
Nanc- You're Nancpop just wants you to know that you are the jewel in his crown! neener neener!
Warren- I procrastinate too!
Oh, Nanc, if it doesn't come out even I get the heebie-jeebies til I get the scratches evened out!

tmw

nanc said...

um, tmw? please go back and read what i said again...hehehe...

The Merry Widow said...

MadZ- It's Zoloft, you imbecile! Don't you know anything? sheesh!

tmw
P.S. Now look what you did, now I have to go scratch somemore!

nanc said...

the farmer has a blog

the farmer has a blog

hi-ho the derry-o

the farmer has a blog

what a great birthday present.

Janice said...

Sings to Simply Red tune
"Did the Earth Move For Ya Nancy"
Couldn't resist LOL :P :D

Always On Watch said...

Maybe I have O.C.D. I eat cookies in one of the following patterns: 3, 5, 7, or 10. I also dish out scoops of vegetables the same way.

And one more thing....I have to have the last bite of whatever food I like. For example, if my husband is eating a sandwich and I'm not, he'll always say, "Last bite. Do you want it?"

My mother used to trick me into eating certain foods which I didn't particularly care for by telling me, "This is the last of it."

Otherwise, I'm normal. Um, sort of. LOL.

Nanc, I love your ditty "The Farmer has a blog"!

The Merry Widow said...

Alright, Nanc, look what you've started! First it was "innocent" Oh Boo moments, now o.c.d.! What are you up to? Blackmail? Or just trying to feel better about yourself? hehehe You're right about wearing the underwear on the outside! How about my compulsion to feed teens? I see 'em, at my house, I feed 'em!
Good morning and G*D bless all us imperfect people, we need it!

tmw

nanc said...

the earth moves for all of us, ahmadinejanice - didn't you know?

aow - i do have a fixation on the number five...but that's not the one!

nanc said...

tmw - i'm not going to analyze your condition. but i have noticed that my slightly overweight friends have always tried to force food on me - you don't have a weight problem and want everybody else to have one, do you? food therapy?

speaking of food therapy - i pigged out at olive garden yesterday! i like the old spaghetti factory much better though. my food has to come out even.

The Merry Widow said...

It's all those teenage boys with rumbling stomachs, or the plaintive, "I'm STARVING!" I'm a mother bird, the mouth is open, in goes the food!
Actually, I've been losing weight!
I guess the food I would eat I'm passing off on the guys so I won't eat it!

tmw

nanc said...

ohhhhhhhhh, then you would have the mother bird o.c.d.

The Merry Widow said...

I sing too!

tmw

Anonymous said...

Warren is an Obsessive Compulsive Procrastinator??

He makes things up so he can put them off??

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

nanc said...

yup, anonymous - that warren is a regular card! THE JOKER!

i may be getting angry if we don't get to go home today and have to wait until tomorrow.

cube said...

OCD, ADHD, ADD... I think these are terms that are over-used. Everybody is a little neurotic, but there's no need to turn little idiosyncracies into disorders.

nanc said...

that is also a point i was trying to make, cube. everybody is overdiagnosed. american pharmaceutical companies spend approximately 90 - that's 90 BILLION DOLLARS pushing drugs each year in the u.s. and we so willingly buy into it.

we want to label everything!

as for tmw - she sings - now there's a problem for the shrinks.

The Merry Widow said...

Or the choir director! 2nd soprano, thank you very much! BTW-why be normal? It's boring!

tmw

Brooke said...

Here, here! My little bro was ADHD diagnosed when he was a kid... He was the baby and could've used a healthy dose of discipline, IMHO!

nanc said...

brooke, my brother was diagnosed at age six (1963) with hyperactivity disorder and they put him on THORAZINE! he grew up to be my mother's favorite little drug addict - she always did like him best...

good news - he's since straightened out - thank the Lord.

i've come to realize, of my own accord, that MOST if not ALL boys are overly active - it's called being a boy.

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

Happy Birthday Nanc!

May you get the rest of your remaining 70, and whatever gravy comes after that.

(Genesis 6:3)

nanc said...

thanks, beamish!

i do believe the gravy will come before the 70 - as i said to aow at her site - things appear to be moving rapidly.

SHOW ME THE GRAVY!

does that mean we don't get a beamish o.c.d. story?

Always On Watch said...

Nanc,
i've come to realize, of my own accord, that MOST if not ALL boys are overly active - it's called being a boy.

I believe that as well. I fear that school counsellors and all-too-willing doctors, along with parents who don't apply proper and adequate discipline, are creating a nation of druggies.

Yes, there are bona fide cases of ADD, ADHD, OCD, etc. But in my experience, most are not bona fide cases.

MissingLink said...

Happy birthday Nanc!!
Many happy returns.

I don't get the OCD thing though.
Every time I count to 500, before starting my car, I think about my 6 previous wives, who told me after I asked why they decided to dump me - You count too much.
W#hat's wrong with them?

gumbee said...

For many years of my life in high school and college I suffered through symptoms. I finally got diagnosed my senior year in college, 2001, as having OCD. So, I've been taking medicine for it ever since.

nanc said...

um, stacey? perhaps you should get off the drugs and you wouldn't have to beg for money? you're shameless - i like that in a person!

nanc said...

linkster - you count more than you'll EVER know!

Warren said...

I have no doubt that in the present climate of public education that I would have been diagnosed as ADD and medicated.

Truthfully, I was bored stiff and unchallenged.

nanc said...

warren - i'm glad you were just a boy - i'd never allow one of my children to be medicated for exhibiting childish behavior.

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

Nanc,

Every day past 120 years is gravy. If you take your gravy now, you don't get the 120 years.

Beamish OCD story? Hmmm. Most of my personalities believe that psychology and psychiatry is junk science. Does that count?

The Merry Widow said...

My son comes from a long line of ADHD males and they're proud of it! He was ADHD in the womb, don't ask what that felt like! We had him on meds.(tiniest dose, ONCE a day) none on weekends or holidays or summer! At 10 he was off, totally because he had to learn self control, now he's reaching out to a younger boy in Youth group who is even worse, mostly due to disfuntional family life! It is his ministry to reach out to the unlikable and messed up! Putting feet on the gospel! I'm so proud of him I could bust!
warren- Anybody with any creativity or intelligence is likely to go bonkers with the "make work" policies of public school! I was always in trouble because I was so bored I would walk to other childrens desks and talk to them! One of the reasons I homeschool!
Good morning and G*D bless all imperfect people(even Nanc)!

tmw

Always On Watch said...

Warren,
I have no doubt that in the present climate of public education that I would have been diagnosed as ADD and medicated.

Truthfully, I was bored stiff and unchallenged.


I became the class brat in sixth grade. I was bored! Seventh grade was a bit of a challenge, but not much. Because I was in a private school not averse to flexibility, my mother and the director had me skip eighth grade. Once in 9th, I had plenty to do until 11th, at which point I "started up" again toward the end of the term. Problem solved: In my senior year, the director had me teach phonics classes in the afternoon. I even got paid!

TMW,
My son comes from a long line of ADHD males...! He was ADHD in the womb...

A real case, IMO.

And homeschooling works well for ADD and ADHD. In my classes, I vary the routine enough so that my "specials"--both ADD/ADHD and brilliant ones who have no trouble focusing--aren't bored. My students say that I'm unpredictable. LOL.

The Merry Widow said...

AoW- I'm ADD, so is my daughter, but it is solved by consistancy, love, discipline, love, redirecting, love...and especially, love!
I can relate to your troubles, I was in public schools on AF bases until jr. high! After 1 yr. Mom put me in a private school for 3 yrs., by the time I graduated from a public high school, I already had all my graduating credits! That's why my son is doing the GED, so he can get out and DO, before he goes nuts!

tmw

drummaster2001 said...

i have some ocd tendensies. washing hands is one of them, especially before playing guitar or drums or touching electronics. another is screwing around with the car mirrors until they are perfect.

the tv show 'monk' pokes fun at the craziness of ocd and also makes people aware of it.

happy belated b-day nanc!

nanc said...

thank you so much, drummaster - our daughter, a percussionist, taps incessantly - and being a mathmatician counts beats for every single thing. she's beautiful and perfect in all ways. i've never thought she had a disorder and refuse to believe it now.

o.t. - i had a big old "boo" moment today when we got home...that's why we're back here...

Brooke said...

Nanc: You've been tagged!

http://neoconcommandcenter.blogspot.com/2006/07/triplicate-tagging.html

nanc said...

well, yes i have! it was my number one birthday wish!

nanc said...

1.--Things that scare me:

world w/o God
oh boo moments - yikes!
The electric bill. AHHH!

2.--People who make me laugh:

nancpop
nancson
nancdaughter
(not necessarily in that order)

3.--Things I hate the most

internal ugliness
gluttony
body fat
(yikes - i may have a fat phobia)


4.--Things I don't understand:

how a c5a can stay in flight
hatred
why money is more important than what it can buy


5.--Things I'm doing right now:

playing scrabble
watching heehaw
having a cold one


6.--Things I want to do before I die:

bring everyone i know to the saving grace of Yeshua
go to australia
meet madzionist, freedomnow, warren, aow, brooke, donal, jinnyl., beak, mr. dipippo, my kuhnkat, elbro, linkster and last but not least beamish


7.--Things I can do:

design clothing
tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue
teach a good lesson even if i'm the one learning it


8.--Ways to describe my personality:

narrowminded
unwavering
possessive, yet giving

Things I can't do:

make sense of nonsense
watch a half-hour tele program
lie


10.--Things you should listen to:

God
Your spouse
Your kids

11.--Things you should never listen to:

unreason
crickets - chirp-chirp
noise

12.--Absolute favorite foods:

anything green or red
anything mexican
anything italian


13.--Things I'd like to learn:

hebrew
myself
my family


14.--Beverages I drink regularly:

green tea
coffee quadruple latte with one tsp sugar
beer: japanese my favorite

15.--Shows I watched as a kid:

carol burnett show or maybe it was i love lucy
all in the family
ed sullivan


16.--People I'm tagging:


still making my mind up on that one!

MissingLink said...

Nanc,
go to australia
Jest let me know WHEN.
All I can offer is a guest room in our house and meals to keep your energy on a level sufficient to see all these great places around Sydney.
And our company of course(me Missus, meself and me pussy cats).
Oh, BTW might've imagined the other six wives.
Don't know why buy sometimes I just KNOW my previous name was Henry.

The Merry Widow said...

Watch out Felis! Nanc loves kittykabobs! Count kitties before and after visit!
Nanc- Don't bring and platypuses home, they have nasty tempers and the males have poison spurs on their back legs, or ignore me completely! They might be good for scaring off and illegal aliens who might decide to park on your mountain!
Good morning and G*D bless!

tmw

nanc said...

thank you so much linkster - i've always wanted to go. my husband just wants to go for the wildlife and probably the armwrestling and brewskis!

tmw - now i'm sure linkster will get rid of the cats before we get there...hehehe!

Kelly said...

Nanc, I really like your "I stand with Israel" banner. Good job.

nanc said...

i cannot take credit for that, kelly - warren put it up and i stand with anybody who stands by israel. beamish the show-off put two up - he's always one step ahead. it has something to do with time travel.

Brooke said...

Hey Nanc: If'n you're ever in the Cincinnati area, we'll keep ya for awhile! We live about 1/2 hour north of there!

nanc said...

that is so sweet, brooke! i'm not the best guest though - it's the mint on the pillow thing i'm having a hard time getting over - oh yeah, and my pajamas having to be folded into origami shapes. other than that, i'm okay.

Brooke said...

As long as you don't mind your origami shapes looking like a relaxing elephant seal... ;)

Kelly said...

Thanks for the Israel banner link, Nanc.

:)

nanc said...

BROOKE - you can turn my girlie boxer briefs into an origami elephant seal? everybody out of the way - i'm goin' to brooke's!

guess i forgot to mention the continental breakfast thing though...

The Merry Widow said...

Nanc- The glasses and plates are here, the refridgerator is there, have at!
The origami pajamas are no problem, it depends on the shape they assume when tossed in the air! What flavor mints? Here's a lb. bag! The beach is thataway! Any questions?
Good morning and G*D bless!

tmw

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

"girlie boxer briefs"

Is that anything like a manly tube top?

nanc said...

that's a whole other story, beamish - a whole other story...

i may be the reason they started making them.

of course, my husband could be the reason they make bikini briefs for men! laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

The Merry Widow said...

Nanc- I thought my late was the reason they still made the things? Also tan through bikini briefs for backyard work! laalalalalalalalala!
G*D bless and godd morning!

tmw

The Merry Widow said...

Oh boo, good, not godd(whatever that is!)

tmw

Always On Watch said...

Speaking of bikini briefs for men....

We used to have a neighbor build like Tom Selleck. A real hunk! He had a twenty-something body, despite his 50+ years.

One day he had on his Speedos as he will working in his front yard. A schoolbus driver, a woman, came along and very nearly ran off the road.

A pity our neighbor eventually put up a privacy fence. But there were no more near-accidents due to women drivers' looking tat The Hunk. LOL.

BTW, my husband and I got to be good friends with The Hunk. He was our neighborhood's Good Samaritan. And a political conservative too. Talk about one fellow having it all!

nanc said...

ODG, aow! we had a neighbor just like that in california - last name wilson and whenever he'd be outside cleaning his deck or pool, my husband would say, "speedo alert!" five years of highlights - sigh...he had an orange speedo that would make your heart skip a beat or seven. it's a dayam good thing we appreciate the true beauty of nature at nanchouse!

Always On Watch said...

When The Hunk first moved in, all of us women became porch sitters.

Nothing quite like admiring the male physique.

And, really, The Hunk was a great guy--not a skirt chaser. So none of the husbands were jealous. They liked him too!

One interesting fact I didn't mention: he was a nudist. I learned early on to call first before going over there to harvest his garden or pick some fruit from his little orchard. He had a huge vegetable garden, with plenty to share.

The Merry Widow said...

Ah, G*D is an artist! A really well put together male does cause a little fluttery feeling. Wildlife watching can be a beautiful thing!
Unfortunately, some of the wildlife wannabes don't measure up to the real deal! When you get 300+ euro males changing clothes on the beach...Happened to some friends at a restaraunt on Cocoa Bch. pier, they lost their appetites, they couldn't cover their eyes because they were busy covering their children's! Ugh!
Good morning and G*D bless!(especially after that mental vision)

tmw

nanc said...

our neighbor was married to an equally beautiful woman. at least that's what i'm told.

but then, there was the leopard print speedo...or it could have been zebra...

Gayle said...

Wow, Nanc... how is it I never came here before? I usually read through all the comments, but 76 is a bit much! :)

Is biting your nails "obsessive-compulsive" disorder? I think it is, and my daughter has it. She bites them into little stubs. She's done that all of her life and it used to drive me nuts, but anymore I just ignore it. She had false nails attached for two weeks and it almost drove her nuts that she couldn't bite them.

Happy belated birthday, Nanc. May you live long and well! :)

Oh... I almost forgot to mention that I love that "Troll Abortion" thingy in your sidebar! ROTFALMAO!

John said...

Happy B-Day, Nanc!

John

nanc said...

thank you, john - i take it you're still on vacation?

gayle - that's schweeeeet! the trollaborter was warren's creation - he's the genius of longrange...

nanc said...

warren? remember i said i'd tell what my ocd was after this column?

don't laugh - at least not to my face, but i CANNOT eat a sandwich without putting it down between EACH AND EVERY bite to wipe my hands and mouth with a napkin! it makes for a very long lunch sometimes...

is everything okay with you?