Sunday, April 30, 2006

Interview time!

A few years uhh... couple of months ago, I ran into this homeless, faceless, pitiful interesting commenter on cuz's, (Mr Beamish), blog, The Crank Files.

As I remember it, she was impressed with my knowledge of firearms and ballistics, hanging on every word of my descriptions of muzzle velocity and bullet weights, then complimented me on my knowledge.

EDIT:
nanc - "heyaaaay - i was homeless, not down and out! they slammed the doors on us at moonbat central and i ended up at madzionist (my madze), freedomnow (my fern), the cranky one (my beamish), autonomist (my mr. dipippo), at long range (my warren), always on watch (my aow) and eventually at the beak speaks (my beak). some people may say i'm a little possessive and frankly, i don't get it.

and really, who WOULDN'T be impressed with your knowledge of firearms and ballistics - even winchester'd be saying, "dayam, that warren knows his stuff!"

edit EDIT:
Warren- Shameless suckup!


Shameless sneak EDIT:
nanc - "this is no time to tell me you're vacuuming..."


Having took pity on this faceless, homeless waif and with the skill of the foremost plastic surgeons of the world, (and after a couple of aborted attempts), I constructed one of the most artistically magnificent avatars ever to grace the Internet.

EDIT:
nanc - "ahem? "one of the most artistically magnificent avatars"? best get your poop in a group, warren - my avatar is right up there with always on watch. perhaps you'd like to reword that?"

edit EDIT:
Warren-Surely you don't expect me to dis my own work, no favorites here!


After she ignored my masterpiece I twisted her arm bashfully declined to use it; I convinced her to try it for a while to see how it worked out.

EDIT:
nanc - "yeah, well sometimes it's all about the chase."


I came to know this homeless waif and again, took pity on her, and decided to take her into my Internet home.

EDIT:
nanc - "yeah, right! who snagged whom? is it time for "the man song"?"


Most of you know her from her shy comments and bashful, modest words. So keep in mind her delicate retiring personality, be gentle with her and we will get to know her better.

On with the interview:

Nanc, what should we know about you?

nanc - "first, i'm one of the Kings' kids. i will only capitalize when yelling or noting something of importance. there are no lengths i will not go for people i love and care about - having been described as a mother lion by a far left friend of mine. hey, somebody has to be their friend.

having been born into royalty, people have a hard time approaching me. yeah, even my sweet husband will come up to me and say, "babe, do people really come up to you?"

Have you always been conservative, were you somewhat of a "wild child" growing up?

nanc - "i have always been a wildly conservative person. as you may or may not know, my parents and most of my relatives are extreme, far left dhimmiwittedcrats. as for my immediate family - husband and children - they are happily rightminded. a quote from my mother, "HOW ON EARTH CAN YOU TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO BE REPUBLICANS?" well, i don't. they figured it out on their own. this from the same woman when our son was a toddler and we had a huge fireplace, would say, "AREN'T YOU AFRAID HE'S GOING TO RUN INTO THE FIRE?" to which i replied, "well, mom, if he's stupid enough to get within four or five feet of THAT fire, then he deserves to get burned. would you run into THAT fire?"

there really are NO stupid questions, only stupid people who ask them or something like that."

You moved from the West Coast to the Heartland. What would you say was the biggest adjustment that you had to make?

nanc - "about $25,000+ per year less income, avocados year round, and good, quality citrus fruit - those are the biggest, yet easiest to overcome. really nothing to complain about. the heartland is the best place to be, well except for the chicks and tiggers..."

What is your biggest family thing, what do you and your family enjoy doing most as a group? (And have you ever tried a Hartz tea and flick collar?)

nanc - "as a group we love doing stand up comedy amongst ourselves, well, because mostly it's much easier than doing it sitting or lying down. we do attend church twice a week together and love to go swimming and fishing as the weather permits. when the weather DOESN'T permit, we watch "paint your wagon" and sing the score as each song comes on. it has been a prerequisite to hanging out with me for the last 25+ years - then, and only then, do i find out what a person is made of. we do shop together, but only as a support group. as for the critters, they wouldn't dare light on me - we warned the entawr state before we got here. that, and have invested a small fortune on bug dope for the immediate area. thank you for your concern."

So, "Paint Your Wagon" is your favorite movie, what are some of your other favorites and have you ever read a book, then seen the movie and been disappointed, or visa versa?

nanc - "we like serious movies like "kingpin" with woody harrelson and "what about bob" with bill murray, oh, and "young frankenstein". movies are nearly always disappointing when compared to the books. i've always loved stephen king and i don't believe you could make a movie that stands up to his books. one that came close was "the stand". "braveheart" is my ABSOLUTE favorite comedy."

END
********************

Thank you Nanc.

Now I'm going to turn this post and questions over to our friends and the trolls we love to hate.

77 comments:

nanc said...

oh, no, no, no, no, thank you warren (imagine chip and dale here)!

Always On Watch said...

Paint Your Wagon? Oh, how I love that one! I can sing every one of the songs. Buried in storage is my piano transcription of the musical score.

Okay, I have two questions for you, Nanc.

1. What brought you into the blogosphere?

2. How did you find this little family? I think I already know, but I want verification.

nanc said...

okay, aow, here goes:

1. my need for adult interaction after having spent the last 7 or 8 years with children under the age of 12.

2. it all started at fpm and one day i magically hit the moonbat central link and there i was amidst some of the finest people i'd ever seen and the censorship was kept to a minimum. i did go rounds with a couple of the authors and stood my ground. mbc closed and i landed at madzionist, my madze and just started linking to all the wonderful people found there - who btw also posted at mbc. autonomist has many of the same authors from mbc so i love that site.

AOW - THAT'S HOW I FOUND YOU AND WARREN! providence plain and simple.

Elmer's Brother said...

Oooohhh if I wasn't married

Paint your wagon and avocados...

nanc said...

oh, e.b. - those are THE things that keep a marriage happy or so it seems...those and artichokes with garlic butter...oh, my!

MissingLink said...

Must've been very lonely for a sensitive child like yourself to live among leftoid relatives.

How did you survive this hardship?

Some scars left, no?

nanc said...

no scars, linkster - my motto is "i am who i am in SPITE of my upbringing not BECAUSE of it!" trust me, once you see left for what it is, it's very easy to resist. like candy to a baby, my down under compadre.

Jeff Bargholz said...

The busiest busybody in the conservative blogosphere finally has a blog! Awesome!

The parts of "Paint Your Wagon Red"
where nobody is singing are my favorite. I always liked that movie, even though Eastwood and Marvin didn't kill a single bad-guy in it. Not even one.

Now that you're famous, use your influence to get people to clean up the Earth Day entry at Wikipedia. I'm being attacked by multiple moonbats! The little bastards are out for conservative blood.

American Crusader said...

Well well, a new dynamic duo on the blogsphere.
This should be interesting.

the merry widow said...

Trolls, be afraid, be very afraid!

If Nanc is protective of her friend's blogs, what will she be like with her own half a one? Gutted, filleted and broiled! Can hardly wait to see you in action. You and Warren can whipsaw the poor idjits! Heeheehehehe! Love it!
Good morning and G*D bless all here!

tmw

Anonymous said...

Sorry to go off topic, but I need to sing a little song...

Song for St. Tamminy's Day. The Old Song.

Of Andrew, of Patrick, of David, & George,
What mighty achievements we hear!
While no one relates great Tammany's feats,
Although more heroic by far, my brave boys,
Although more heroic by far.

These heroes fought only as fancy inspired,
As by their own stories we find;
Whilst Tammany, he fought only to free,
From cruel oppression mankind, my brave boys,
From cruel oppression mankind.

"When our country was young and our numbers were few
To our fathers his friendship was shown,
(For he e'er would oppose whom he took for his foes),
And made our misfortunes his own, my brave boys,
And he made our misfortunes his own.
"At length growing old and quite worn out with years,
As history doth truly proclaim,
His wigwam was fired, he nobly expired,
And flew to the skies in a flame, my brave boys,
And flew to the skies in a flame.


-FJ

Warren said...

TY Farmer John,

Off to earn some wampum to buy a buck tail.

;^)

Warren said...

Morning Nanc

Hi ho hi ho.... (I owe I owe)

nanc said...

okay j.b. and farmer - just for you (it was bound to happen):

Ladies and Gentelmen, THE MAN SONG!

(He's the man! He's the man!)
I don't take no crap from anybody
else but you.
I wear the pants around here when I'm finished with your laundry.
"Cause I'm a guy you don't wanna
fight.
When I say "Jump" you say "Yeah,
right"
I'm the man of this house until you get home.
(He's the man! He's the man!)

What I say goes around here right
out the window.
And I don't wanna hear a lot of
whinning so I'll shut up.
The sooner you learn whose boss
around here,
The sooner you can give me my
orders dear.
'Cause I'm head honcho around here but it's all in my head.
(He's the man! He's the man!)

And I can have sex anytime that
you want.
"Cause I'm a man who has needs but
they're not that important.
And don't expect any flowers from
me
'Cause if I'm not mistaken you
prefer jewlery.
I'm the King of my castle when
you're not around.
(He's the man! He's the man!)

And I'll drink and watch sports whenever I wanna get in trouble.
And I'll come home when I'm good
and ready to sleep on the couch.
'Cause a mans' gotta do what a
mans' gotta do
And I'm gonna do what you tell me
to.
'Cause I'm top dog around here
But I've been neutered!
(He's the man! He's the man! You
Da Man!)

ahhhhh, i feel much better now...

nanc said...

good morning everybody!

warren - for you, the first three months rent - FREE! yeah, i know, there are no heights to which i will not go for a friend.

Anonymous said...

Buy a bucktail??? Buy????

I hope Neddy really fleeces you! If I were him, I'd charge "Native Americans" 100 six-pence!

Now go out and SHOOT your own bucktail, and when the redcoats see it in your hat, they'll think your running away from them, right before you make them EAT LEAD, and they discover that not all buckskins run away! Imagine their surprise!

;-)

-FJ

Anonymous said...

mmm nanc,

Even though I've never heard the man song...I think I know the man song...

-FJ

Anonymous said...

...and warren,

You need to go out and buy something usefull... a new hunting rifle... or bow... or some cool camo-gear... or some Gortex boots... or a new, larger headsman axe.

-FJ

the merry widow said...

Or as my late, great used to say"I'm the head of this house cause you say so!" He was so wise!

tmw

nanc said...

farmer - i'm reading of this king tammany right now. quite enlightening, should apply to all cultures whenever possible.

O.T. anybody suffering because their hispanics walked out on them today? just curious. my husband's hispanic employees are all at work and accounted for. somebody, somewhere close to me had better be making tamales today, because i'm hungry.

nanc said...

tmw - my husband just nods and smiles alot. what does he mean by that?

John Brown said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
nanc said...

i never knew how good that could feel. i think i need a cigarette!

Always On Watch said...

Ooh! I see a deletion. Hehehe.

Nanc,
I have a new posting up. Spread the word.

beakerkin said...

Nanc

You had your first poster abortion.
I am sure the crowd at NARAL and NOW will be over any moment. We should not be burdened with unwanted posters. Where is our zone of privacy.

nanc said...

some people take the garbage in, some people take it out! anybody need their garbage taken out?

nanc said...

beak - he was making fun of sambo's again and frankly, i think they had the best pancakes until they went belly up.

the merry widow said...

Nanc- Means he's a very wise man! He thinks he has married the smartest woman on the planet and isn't he the luckiest guy ever! Give him a kiss and a hug, he pretty smart too. Has to be, he was smart enough to grab you!

tmw

F.B. Jones said...

I am not a troll, but I am afraid, very afraid!

nanc said...

for crying out loud, jacob - you cannot let the trolls know that!

the merry widow said...

Jones- Don't get nanc on you! Why in the world should you be afraid amongst friends? What did you do?

tmw

tazzmax said...

Congrats Nanc, and give "em" hell!

Always On Watch said...

Nanc,
Definitely Providence.

Warren said...

FJ said:
"I hope Neddy really fleeces you! If I were him, I'd charge "Native Americans" 100 six-pence!

Now go out and SHOOT your own bucktail, and when the redcoats see it in your hat, they'll think your running away from them, right before you make them EAT LEAD, and they discover that not all buckskins run away! Imagine their surprise!
"


Neddy and me got a deal, I buy wholesale.

I have a slight complex, the last bucktail I took was with my Nova and I ain't felt right about it since!

Definately a new axe, I'm maxed out on rifles right now. Maybe a ghillie suit.

Went out to shop and grab a steak. Its hard to find a good headsman's axe!

I'm thinking about a double header. They balance better.

:^)

nanc said...

thank you for stopping by tazz - i hope to see more of my former arkansas friend! say hello to the girlie boys in san fran.

nanc said...

i killed a troll today, warren.

F.B. Jones said...

I am not afraid for me!!!! I am afraid for the poor mindless trolls. I have no fear. God has blessed me with more sense than he gave a liberal.

nanc said...

warren, i may have sent an e-mail to the wrong addy, would you please check yours. thanks.

i knew that, jacob!

Warren said...

FJ,
My turn for a song.

JOLLY blades and all,
Who are fond of frolic,
Join with us to-day,
It will cure the colic.
How we dash along,
Full of mirth and glee, sirs,
Here are "waters strong,"
Both for you and me, sirs.

CHORUS

Lobster, Chowder, Clam,
For the lads who want 'em,
Brandy, Gin and Rum,
Are all found at Squantum

II

Here upon the rock
As we view the ocean,
Tom-cods to the shore,
To haul we have a notion.
Now slice up the pork,
And we'll soon be trying
All our cooks at work
To have a glorious frying

CHORUS
(repeat 1st chorus)
III

Push about the can
With strong waters flowing,
Let the song go round,
We shall soon be going;
Let us, while we stay
Spite of wind and weather,
If we do get high,
All get drunk together.

CHORUS

Lobsters, tom-cods, clam,
We no longer want 'em,
Brandy, Gin, and Rum,
Flow full fast at Squantum.

IV

Now the sun declines,
We must all be moving,
Farewell, Squantum, now,
Good old Squaw so loving:
When we come next year,
Into this your quarter,
We will never fear,
Bring plenty of strong water.

CHORUS

Lobsters, Eels and Clams,
We no longer want 'em,
Now good night at once,
Fine old Madam Squantum.

;^)

Warren said...

Beak, we need to do something special with the "poster abortions" maybe call them troll abortions instead and put up something in the sidebar to keep a tally.

just a thought.

Warren said...

Jacob,
Ask nor give quarter.

Today is a good day to die!

Warren said...

Got the Email Nanc.

OT about the "stain":

That's funny! Not only does he get throttled and aborted, he doesn't have a clue what's going on!

LOL

nanc said...

warren - hopefully he's passed out in the corner of what's left of his mind!

FLORIAN said...

So Nanc you know a lot about firearms? I just bought a Smith & Wessen .40 calibre handgun this past weekend. Handles pretty well also. Have a great day!

nanc said...

no flo, i'm not the firearms expert - warren is! welcome - it's so good to see you - i see you're stirring eggnesto soup up over at fpm - the rest of us are boycotting him. come on back now, you hear?

Warren said...

Hi Florian.

I prefer 45s but one of my friends just bought a Springfield Arms .40 that fits my hand like a tailored glove.

40s are nice and IMO, way better than a 9mm.

nanc said...

no way.

Warren said...

Way dudess!

9s over-penetrate unless you use hollowpoints. It might not matter to you if you don't live in the city but people that live in apartments and where houses are close together get sued when their bullets go whizzing through their neighbors walls!

All those stories you hear about someone getting shot multiple times then living through it, 9s

The 40 is just 1mm larger but that makes all the difference in the world.

nanc said...

but i'm so good with a nine...

just wait until it's time for me to interview you!

nanc said...

an interruption in our regularly scheduled programming:

MY MADZE AND HIS MAMAZE ARE EXPECTING BABYZ NUMBER TWO!!! I'LL NOT BE THE SAME FOR THE NEXT SIX OR FOUR MONTHS (he hasn't told me yet)!

CONGRATULATIONS TO MADZIONIST AND FAMILY - ALL THAT PRACTICING HAS PAID OFF! tickled pink...or blue here...in case you didn't notice...

MissingLink said...

Nanc,
If, at any stage, you feel like moving down under, you're most welcome.

Warren,
9mm forever

MissingLink said...

Warren,
What's wrong with hollow points?

beakerkin said...

Warren

That is a great idea a troll abortion counter. I am up to number five. I performed the first group troll abortion two Socrates post and a Weasel post.

Socrates will atempt to infiltrate our community as he lost his pet alias Prof Meathead. He was at Weasies crying.

Warren said...

Missinglink said:
" Warren,
What's wrong with hollow points?
"

Nothing is wrong with them tactically, I use them myself in revolvers, but they don't feed as well through a semi-auto. A little dirt or a burr on a feed ramp causes them to jam without cycling all the way. They are easy enough to clear but seconds count. Most function fine but just occasionally...

Let me say, If I carried a nine, it would have hollowpoints in it.

(This is beside the point and silly), Police officers in most jurisdictions in the US are forbidden to use hollowpoint ammunition because of political correctness.

Warren said...

Beak, I'll see if I can find something or work up something to use for a counter.

the merry widow said...

Morning all! I have a small problem, being on a fixed income, I can't afford to go to a range, inheirited a small arsenal from dad and hubby. Frustratingly enough, I can't get any of my excop friends to take time out of thier busy schedules to teach me how to do it right! May have to wait until son finishes boot so that he can teach me! Pray I find someone to give me the time? Please? Thanks!

tmw

Anonymous said...

So warren, you're a bi-valve lover! Me I always found bi-valves a rather too genteel for my taste. But the life of the bi-valve can be moderately interesting, but I hardly find it Gaspeen.

-FJ

Anonymous said...

...not really. I love clams. Especially the Pismo variety.

-FJ

Shortly before midnight on June 9, 1772, eight large longboats with muffled oars and oarlocks pulled away from Fenner's wharf, at the foot of South Main Street, in Providence. Many of the sixty or more passengers divided among the eight boats were armed. Many were disguised with blacksmeared faces and Indian headdresses. The group included some of Providence's wealthiest and best-known citizens -- merchants, sea captains, lawyers, a doctor, and others. Their destination was Namquid Point, six miles from Providence, where His Majesty's Ship Gaspee had run aground, with the tide going out, at about two o'clock that afternoon. Their mission -- burn the Gaspee.

-FJ

Talk about a clambake!

nanc said...

oysters, raw with tabasco, butter and garlic - ate them by accident once - GREAT! we love all the sea has to offer in the food department. octopus...mmmmmm...

Warren said...

FJ,
Remarkable how the image of the American Indian can inspire. Its somewhat the universal symbol of the noble warrior and fighting spirit. I was aware of the story although it has been maybe 40 years since I first heard it, (I can thank a splendid history teacher for that), I'm glad you posted the links. When I read Tammeny's song it created an ich, so I scratched it!

I'm sure they dressed like Indians for more than disguise. I'll bet there was an intimidation factor too.

;^)

Warren said...

Missinglink,
Thought I'd add:

I read a tech sheet on hollowpoint performance, results- don't buy cheap ones, they don't expand. Winchester silver tips had the best performance, equal to the fabled (and no longer manufactured) black talon.

The bullet is scored in five places, doesn't fragment excessively and opens up like a flower. (nasty stuff!)

Nanc, the gun that shoots best for you is the best gun!

I have everything from a .22 mag hi-standard derringer to a .44 mag with a few interesting side trips on the way. I like my .45s best.

Anonymous said...

The American Indian had what every liberal since the dawn of civilization has desired... freedom. The early European settler's had much to learn about freedom. They were fortunate to find some excellent examples.

-FJ

...and yeah, the "intimidation" factor was big too. You don't mess with the free and the brave.

nanc said...

farmer - freedom is the one true thing that links every living creature on the planet. the desire is overwhelming. i cannot imagine living under a dictatorship in ANY form. to be contained has to be quite possibly the worst feeling. of course our obligations to one another keep us in check, but i believe it's part of the circle.

warren - we have a little .22 rifle (winchester?) that i just love to practice with and the kids like it and the .22 revolver. we've had loaded guns in the house since they were born and they've never been curious enough to touch them without asking. they don't drink poisonous cleaning supplies under the cabinet either - imagine that!

Anonymous said...

Nietzsche "Genealogy of Morals" (16)

All instincts which are not discharged to the outside are turned back inside. This is what I call the internalization of man. From this first grows in man what people later call his "soul." The entire inner world, originally as thin as if stretched between two layers of skin, expanded and extended itself, acquired depth, width, and height to the extent that the discharge of human instinct out into the world was obstructed. Those frightening fortifications with which the organization of the state protected itself against the old instincts for freedom—punishment belongs above all to these fortifications—made all those instincts of the wild, free, roaming man turn backwards, against man himself. Enmity, cruelty, joy in pursuit, in attack, in change, in destruction—all those turned themselves against the possessors of such instincts. That is the origin of "bad conscience."

The man who lacked external enemies and opposition and was forced into an oppressive narrowness and regularity of custom, impatiently tore himself apart, persecuted himself, gnawed away at himself, grew upset, and did himself damage—this animal which scraped itself raw against the bars of its cage, which people want to "tame," this impoverished creature, consumed with longing for the wild, had to create in itself an adventure, a torture chamber, an uncertain and dangerous wilderness, this fool, this yearning and puzzled prisoner, was the inventor of "bad conscience." With him was introduced the greatest and weirdest illness, from which human beings today have not recovered, the suffering of man from his humanness, from himself, a consequence of the forcible separation from his animal past, a leap and, so to speak, a fall into new situations and living conditions, a declaration of war against the old instincts, on which, up to that point, his power, joy, and ability to inspire fear had been based.

Let us at once add that, on the other hand, the fact that there was now an animal soul turned against itself, taking sides against itself, provided this earth with something so new, profound, unheard of, enigmatic, contradictory, and portentous [Zukunftsvolles], that the picture of the earth was fundamentally changed. In fact, it required divine spectators to approve the dramatic performance which then began and whose conclusion is not yet in sight, a spectacle too fine, too wonderful, too paradoxical, to be allowed to play itself out senselessly and unobserved on some ridiculous star or other. Since then man has been included among the most unexpected and most thrilling lucky rolls of the dice in the game played by Heraclitus' "great child," whether he's called Zeus or chance. In himself he arouses a certain interest, tension, hope, almost a certainty, as if something is announcing itself in him, is preparing itself, as if the human being were not the goal but only the way, an episode, a great promise . .


-FJ

nanc said...

...a journey.

Anonymous said...

Dun tah dah...
Dah duntah tah dah!

these are the voyages...

of the Ethership Swinepork
its mission?...

-FJ

nanc said...

...destiny. or destination!

nanc said...

O.T. farmer? you tryin' to turn this sow's ear into a silk purse?

Anonymous said...

...you mean it's not???

-FJ

nanc said...

you're the farmer, you tell me!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but I specialize in book worms, not silk worms. You'd think I could tell the difference!

Hey, I never said I was a good farmer.

-FJ

nanc said...

especially not if you have worms!

Anonymous said...

I think there's a pill for that. Maybe I need to take the cure. Better get Mrs. Farmer to mix it in with my food.

-FJ

nanc said...

mrs. farmer must be a real hoot to put up with you! i'm sure she'd be happy to put a little something extra in your food...

i must work tomorrow and will long for this day and how much lightheartedness i partook of - especially losing my ladylike gloves and knocking brownie down for the count at beamish! i can't tell you all just how therapeutic that was - another cigarette moment...will they ever end?

Anonymous said...

Does ignorance have an end?

-FJ

nanc said...

only when you become enlightened. otherwise some have a wealth of it - the self-inflicted sort.

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