i had to share while this is fresh in my mind instead of here awhile back. my apologies to those of you this would offend, but if you watch network t.v. - i'm sure you've seen and heard worse.
last night, nancpop was on the phone with his "pa" in californistan. apparently "pa" had been having an illness he was being treated for with "nexium" (the little purple pill), and amoxycillin. now, we don't know exactly why these two things were prescribed, but after about a week, "pa" became lethargic and ill.
you'd think the pharmicist would have warned "pa" about the contraindications regarding taking these two together - THEY SHOULD NEVER BE TAKEN TOGETHER!
anyway, to make a short story longer, "pa" told nancpop that once he found out about the ill side effects, he quit taking them and has never felt better. praise G-d!
they got started talking about various pharmaceuticals and the one that got them going was one of the male sexual enhancement products (cialis or viagra). "pa" said he thought about the one that says, "if you have an erection lasting over FOUR hours, call your physician IMMEDIATELY!" "pa" said, "son, if i EVER have an erection lasting over four hours, i'm callin' the doctor; i'm callin' all my old girlfriends; i'm callin' anyone who'll listen!" i guess "ma" was in the background eyes rolling. apparently, "pa" had just had his cabernet meds.
nancpop responded to his father, "pa, if i have one lasting over four minutes, i'm doing the same thing!" they spent the rest of their conversation - approximately a half hour - ltao! men...always bragging...
oh boo...
69 comments:
bwahahahah....ROTFLMAO!!!!!!
I heard the makers of viagra were facing stiff ahem penalties in Saudia Arabia after a man had a heart attack shortly after taking taking the little blue pill
You're a funny girl Nanc!
This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat.
His wife said " Where are you going."
He said "I'm going to the doctor."
And she said "Why? Are you sick?"
"No," he said. " I'm gonna get me some of those new Viagra pills."
So his wife got out of her rocking chair and was putting on her sweater, and he said " Where are you going?"
She said,"Im going to the doctor too."
He said "Why?"
She said , " If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm gonna get a tetanus shot!"
get up off the floor - this is seriouse business, elbro!
kathy - it has absolutely nothing to do with me - i'm just sharing. in love.
my family just happens to give me great material! think i'll give them a raise.
kathy that's a good one
in all seriousness I have never faced this problem although I'm rather saddened when it happens to people I know
I bet Duhhkkky would have some insight on this subject
flaccid arguments and all
LOL! There's no way I can top the comments left on this post. I wish I could, but it's simply too hard!
Don, is a friend of mine, I've worked with him on and off for 20+ years.
He's 64 and a widower.
Today he told me today that he's going to retire in May and I asked him what he was going to do when he retired.
He said, "I'm going to buy a liftime suppy of viagra and become a male prostitute!". I asked him if that wasn't similar to buying a lifetime suppy of catfood when you don't own a cat.
BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
When my father was ill with bone cancer he was using a walker to get around. We threw a surprise over the hill party for my wife when she turned 30.
As my father is leaving (he had gone from 175 lbs and 5'10 to about 120 and 5'7) I asked him if it was true that women hit their peak in their 30's. Without missing a beat he quipped:
How do you think I got to be this way.
gayle said: It's simply too hard!
If you don't want to hurt a man's pride you should say:
it's more difficult
i'm LMAO! kathy, gayle, warren, elbro - thanks - i needed this bout of decadence, with my family being such sticks in the mud and all...
who knew? i'm going to start paying more attention to my family - who knows what they're hiding from me?
Well, I admit I did use it once and my g/f is still regretting it.
Scared the hell out of me. And I would`nt say 4 hrs, but definately a longggg hour.
bensosilly?
the amoxycillin, the nexium or one of the others?
or are you braggin'?
13 year olds don't need most of those pharms!
Still your shout Nanc!!
Me old mate....
And .. HEY Gayle ELBRO AND WARREN.. T hanks for the laughs too!
That was me , last post.
Cause, it's okay for you guys!
I've had a beer or two ( or three or four)
Can I help it that it is 10.00am over in your part of the world.!
Well Kathy, I guess we have some catching up to do.
:^)
Bensilly,
did you see blue spots?
Did any old women slap you as you walked down the street?
What's your shoe size?
nanc- gee, *i was just tryin to be funny(mestupiddotcom ya know)
Viagra works ! Not braggin.
I`m really a 55yr old.
----------------------
Elm, may I call you eb?
Blue spots ? Dont member
I dont remember. old ladies.
(They all looked good to me)
Shoe size? discalced ;)
Y'all are bbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, where was I?
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On a SUNDAY too! Have you no shame? ROFLOL!
tmw
Elmer
Even worse the man in Saudi Arabia could not close the lid on the coffin after the heart attack.
One deleted post is mine. Somehow I duplicated a post. It must have been all the stimulating conversation going on here! :)
hmmmm...wonder what beer at 10:00 a.m. in the morning tastes like? no i don't!
Beak to close the lid they cut off his head.
late term circumcision, elbro?
whatever it takes to bury 'em in Saudi I always say.
Occasionally my Dad will break character and throw us a real zinger.
We were watching some TV commercial for a "male enhancement cream" and Dad, in his low key style says "I wonder what that stuff does to your hand?"
Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit
º¿º
-
BEAMISH?
ELBRO?
STOP! you're killin' me - you're really killin' me!
just curious - do you two share the same father?
pa" said, "son, if i EVER have an erection lasting over four hours, i'm callin' the doctor; i'm callin' all my old girlfriends; i'm callin' anyone who'll listen!"
That's what they all say.
That's what they all say.
AoW, I've never said that. I just hurry home and ask my wife what's for dinner. It starts in the kitchen you know.
Beamish...you don't want to know..trust me. I had a fist for four hours.
The Farmer's household consists of three gentlemen and two ladies. There is no Viagra in the medicine cabinet for fear by the male members of the household passing out from lack of blood to the head should it be diverted to other parts. The ladies of the household simply smile when the males make like remarks and have in response placed a hand-stitched sign above the john which reads: Quit braggin'. Stand closer!
Only four minutes? Nanc, you need to whip nancpop back into shape! ;)
I`m sorry but I had to flag you guys. You unnerstan, right?
eb- 4 hours w/ a fist? Hope you didnt hurt yourself : )
...uess it`s time to get a haircut, huh?
*g
no I didn't get hurt and my wife went shopping.
i'm dyin'!
brooke - bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhahahah!
around here we call it a marathon!
Excersize and the right diet can make all the difference in the world!!!!!!!!!
the vegetarian casanova has spoken.
Is it time to put an end to this subject or will it just keep popping up?
I say we erect a monument to this post.
nanc...a marathon..dang then I've run several just today...boy am I tired.
may I suggest a monolithic design for the monument
i find ALL this hard to believe...or was that difficult?
My, my...I was wondering what nanc has been up to. I guess things have been getting rather "stimulating" at the nanc household - which explains her somewhat curious absence lately...
we should put the monument right next to the troll exhibit
ODL, madze! this isn't ALL i've been up to...
elbro? if i ever get my mitts on you - bang, zoom - straight to the moon!
This old man and old woman in a retirement home began dating. Every morning they would meet in the sun room to sit with each other. They were both confined to wheelchairs, so they couldn't have sex. So the woman would instead just sit next to the man, with her hand on his crotch.
This went on for a few weeks until one day the old man stopped meeting the old woman in the sun room.
A few more mornings of missed meet ups passed and the old woman went looking for the old man, and found him in the rec room, sitting in his wheerchair next to another old woman with her hand on his crotch.
In a jealous rage she cried "What does she have that I don't?"
The old man replied "Parkinson's."
yes, I know... I'm horrible.
I can stay in the ring more than 4 minutes.
SOMEBODY SHOOT ME!
NOW!
uh are you okay nanc?
never been better and it usually only takes about 2 minutes and 15 seconds.
okay at 2 min 15 seconds I should make it through the standard 15 rounds.
and you prove my point, once again.
men. you cannot live without them and they're always going to brag.
say goodnight, hardly...i mean hardy.
it's like man rule #37
Never let them think you can't perform....the crowd will leave early.
woman rule #42:
mess up their rule book while they're sleeping.
I'll send some monument designs your way. I think it would go very well with the trolls.
rough crowd tonight, eh?
I tell ya I get no respect..(he said in his best Rodney Dangerfield)
This guy walks into a bar and sees a glass box with $1100 worth of ten dollar bills in it. He asks the bartender what the money is for.
The bartender tells him that for ten dollars, he can compete in 3 secret challenges for a chance to win the entire pot.
The man asks what the challenges are.
"They're secret. You have to pay the 10 dollars to get the challenges."
The man says "OK" and gives the bartender a ten dollar bill, which he puts in the glass box.
The bartender says "The first challenge is that you have to drink an entire gallon of red hot pepper tequila... without making a face."
"The second challenge is that there's a mean Rottweiler out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth."
"And for the third challenge, you have to go up stairs and please the 90 year old woman up there who's never had an orgasm."
The guy sits in the bar for a while and figures "Screw it. I've already paid in my ten bucks, might as well try to win the money."
So he gets the gallon of red hot pepper tequila. He works his way through the bottle. He's burning from head to toe but not once does he make a face or even squint.
He gets up from the bar a few minutes after finishing the gallon of tequila. "Alright, where's this dog?"
"Right out back."
So the man goes out the back door. You hear fierce barking and growling, cries of pain and a lot of cursing, trash cans getting knocked over, and then finally it gets all quiet.
A few minutes later, the man walks back into the bar. His clothes are torn and he's a bloody mess.
He staggers slowly up to the bar and asks the bartender, "Now, with the old lady upstairs, which tooth do I have to pull?"
the monument is erected
mister beamish- lol
-Ben
Beamish, "that right there is funny, I don't care who you are"!
LMAO!
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