Sean Penn, a capital ship?

A capital ship for an ocean trip, was the galloping window blind.

No gale that blew dismayed her crew or troubled the captains mind.

The man at the wheel was taught to feel contempt for the wildest blow,

But it often appeared, when the weather had cleared, that he'd been in his bunk below...

From The Herald Sun News:

Sean Penn's rescue bid sinks
From correspondents in New Orleans
05sep05

EFFORTS by Hollywood actor Sean Penn to aid New Orleans victims stranded by Hurricane Katrina foundered badly overnight, when the boat he was piloting to launch a rescue attempt sprang a leak.

Mr Penn had planned to rescue children waylaid by Katrina's flood waters, but apparently forgot to plug a hole in the bottom of the vessel, which began taking water within seconds of its launch.

The actor, known for his political activism, was seen wearing what appeared to be a white flak jacket and frantically bailing water out of the sinking vessel with a red plastic cup.

When the boat's motor failed to start, those aboard were forced to use paddles to propel themselves down the flooded New Orleans street.

Asked what he had hoped to achieve in the waterlogged city, the actor replied: "Whatever I can do to help."

With the boat loaded with members of Penn's entourage, including a personal photographer, one bystander taunted the actor: "How are you going to get any people in that thing?"

I am the very model of a modern Major General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

Note to Mr. Penn:

People of "Forest Gump" like intelligence shouldn't attempt to perform heroic, like, actions. Leave New Orleans and return to Hollywood where you can pretend to be a hero on the big screen instead of becoming another problem. You might actually save someones life that way, (maybe yours), by not taking up the valuable time and resources of rescue workers!