Sunday, January 28, 2007

MEMO TO THE COMMUNITY



TO: The Community

FROM: your fearless leader by proxy, baby nanc duvalier, her nancness

i never realized how tiring this leader business could be - a nap after every earthshattering decision - i wasn't getting a thing done!

everyone questioning my every motive, backing me into a corner proved too much - EVEN FOR ME!

therefore, i appoint THE MERRY WIDOW (former secretary to the inferior) as our new leader until warren returns to assume his duties in a capacity most worthy of "The Community".

thank goodness i did get the longrange name change in before my retirement. you people are brutal, brutal i tell you...now i must have another nap...

in the event tmw cannot fulfill her obligations here, always will attend to her duties. after that, the leader chain will be broken and we'll be taking applications for serious leaders.

thank you for your patience in these most serious matters.




a satire

34 comments:

The Merry Widow said...

As my first order to "The Community", we need to be on the same page here! So in an effort to do this, we will start off on page 541 of the Older Testament, which is Psalm 1 for those who have other copies!
Get back to me after studying this and we WILL have a lively discussion on it!
Nanc is now the confidential advisor, and AoW is Secretary of the Inferior and the next in line for the office of Fearless Leader. We have this covered until Warren returns, then we will return to our regularly scheduled serenity!
I HOPE YOU ALL APPRECIATE THE SACRIFICE WE ARE WILLING TO MAKE ON YOUR BEHALF!
After lunch and a lively discussion, Nanc will have her prescribed nap, AoW will go for a drive, if weather permits and the rest will go play golf. If weather permits!

tmw

nanc said...

and y'all thought I was bossy?

good luck, tmw, trying to keep all these little chicks in one basket is akin to nailing jello to the wall.

may you be more effective than i. at least NOW, i have time to go to the driving range...well, if it weren't ten degrees out...time for a virtual game i guess...i am exhausted...

Farmer John said...

Again, a change in command.

Why weren't the Praetorians notified?

Unless we're given TWO buckets of balls, we'll turn a blind eye to the activities of abu beamish.

Times here at the driving ranage haven't been as turbulent since the days of Galba, Otho and Vitellius.

Always On Watch Two said...

LOL.

I can't go for a drive with the top down today. It's raining here. Bummer!

Always On Watch Two said...

TMW,
I'm terrible at memorizing word for word, but I know most of Psalm 1 (KJV). ;)

Farmer John said...

btw - the balls are in addition to chili-cheese Fritos promised earlier!

Farmer John said...

...and I recommend you assign your advisor the job of "drink girl". We'll want a different cold beer waiting for us at every even-numbered hole.

Farmer John said...

They don't call them public servants for nuthin'!

nanc said...

ODD-NUMBERED HOLES ONLY!

oops...all that power must have gone to my head...

but with odd numbered holes only, where do you - AHA! - end up after the eighteenth?

Farmer John said...

...face down in the gutter. Where else? You don't expect us to pay for our drinks after golfing, do you?

Farmer John said...

btw - I think you can win elbro over, but only if he gets his storm door, trailmix, and a snack food item to be identified at some future date.

Farmer John said...

The abu beamish problem will prove rather more difficult. I propose we send him a case of his favorite beverage... and then break his will with a tempting offer of chili-cheese Fritos to compliment it.

Elmer's Brother said...

chile limon pringles, a case of alaskan amber and courtside seats at Suns games

anything less than that and the natives get restless

beakerkin said...

Well I approve of the new leadersship. I had no problems with the previous administration. All these changes are making us look like a bananna republic.

Farmer John said...

...from the horses mouth.

And you all thought leadership was going to be easy...

Elmer's Brother said...

even banana republics need to keep the natives happy now cough up the snacks

nanc said...

THE NEW LEADER HAS ALREADY WON ELBRO OVER!

ahahahahahahahahahaha!

the snackage is mine!

nanc said...

careful, she's off visiting with the Guy who makes ALL the rules...

nanc said...

and now, i must be off to have a word or six with Him myself...

you people are in for it - no, really!

Elmer's Brother said...

she's gone to see George Soros?

The Merry Widow said...

George? George Soros? Who's he? I don't dilly-dally with peons sir! I go straight to the top! Talk to the mail clerk?
Nanc-See to the chili-cheese fritos, there's a Dear! Then go take your nap!
AoW-Go sit in your whirlpool for a while then!
FJ-4 buckets of balls, see Nanc for the Fritos and beer.
EB-Would a 5# bag of trail mix work, I don't have access to storm doors, sorry!
Beaker-One must apply themselves to servant leadership!
How is then study on Psalm 1 going? Where is plucky? PLUCKY! Front and center! Where is your Bible? I'll send you one. No excuses!

tmw

Farmer John said...

You've heard her, snap to it people!

Psalm 1

Blessed [is] the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

But his delight [is] in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

The ungodly [are] not so: but [are] like the chaff which the wind driveth away.

Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

The Merry Widow said...

Very good, FJ! You get the "Good On You" award for paying attention!
Now can anyone tell me the significance of; walk, stand and sit?
Nanc-When do you want to be awakened from your nap?
FJ-Extra bucket of golf balls for you.
plucky? I can't hear you?

tmw

Russet Shadows said...

*shows up, looking generally confused and disheveled* What is the community a satire of? I'm guessing DKos.

nanc said...

"the" community is an idyllic setting and not entirely what you may or may not wish it to be...or something like that!

Always On Watch Two said...

TMW,
AoW-Go sit in your whirlpool for a while then!

I did, and then took a loooong nap.

Elmer's Brother said...

fj is sucking up and NO you may not have any of my trailmix

Farmer John said...

You gotta play to get paid, elbro.

I got five buckets of balls, chili-cheese Frito's AND drinks on all even numbered holes at the golf course.

I don't think I coulda asked for more.

Elmer's Brother said...

iffen you take it all you don't have to ask

nanc said...

i've got the odd-numbered holes covered...and i can fit 18 cold ones in my bag...a small keg if i leave my clubs behind and play out of nancpop's bag...i'll just take "big wally" the one wood, a five or a three iron, and my slotline putter or a pitching wedge - i'll carry them in a quiver instead...oh, but i ramble...

Farmer John said...

Tell you what, nanc. Let's take all your clubs, and just use my cart.

nanc said...

hey now! i'm a golf star!

got my game on

go!

Lloyd Irving Bradbury said...

There no leaders

nanc said...

come on lloyd - spit it out!